LOVE?

God has been teaching me a ton as to what it really means to love someone or what it really means to love.

Background: A little bit less than a year ago we invited a couple to come and live with us. We thought it was to help them financially and later found that not to be the case. One of them recently moved out (moved away from her husband)and it didn't seem right. Her actions and words didn't make sense to how God works or the commands that God calls us to obey. We went to confront her about her actions or at least gain understanding but she would not take the time to share that understanding. So, we let her know that we loved her and wanted to still be there for her but that we could not allow her back into our house because we felt that the reason for us opening our house was to help and it didn't feel that she was open for us helping her. We also didn't want to encourage what we understood and felt in our hearts to be wrong. At the same time though we have always been open towards listening to her heart and gaining understanding if we were wrong.
This is when she told us that we were not loving her and that we were not being obedient to God!


OUCH! we really felt that we were trying to love her the best that we could but didn't want to encourage what we felt was wrong. It seemed that she believed love to be equal to agreeing and we couldn't do that. This really led me to pray and contemplate over the idea of what it really means to love someone

the Journey:
as I prayed and contemplated over what it means to love someone I realized that many people, the church (generalized comment), and myself had kind of a skewed idea of what it means to love. We have the idea that "to love" means you must agree or allow but I don't believe that to be true. (this was rough ground for me to jump into because I didn't want to be a judgmental Christian) But, after a lot of prayer and contemplation I realized that you really can - not agree with someone, love them, and still not be judgmental.
If a Christian is not obeying God's commands I don't think that it is right for us to encourage or agree with that person's actions. You don't have to judge them and tell them they are going to hell but if they are truly follower of Christ then I would guess that they would desire to live passionately and obediently for Jesus in all that they did - especially if it is true that one way that we show God that we love him is by obeying his commands (john 14:21), or if Jesus says he came to bring life to the full (john 10:10) then by obeying his commands we are living the best life possible. If these are true then I would assume that as their friends we would want to encourage them to live this way (I would assume that anyone would want the best for their friends and for them to live the best life possible). As I thought and prayed about this I really felt that for us to agree with actions that didn't seem right to what God commands it would be wrong or not loving to agree or encourage these type actions. It would be the opposite of love instead of true love. I mean God loves us even when we are not being obedient but that doesn't mean he will agree or encourage those actions. I mean we see a pic in Hebrews 12 to where God disciplines us because he loves us (I don't know if it is our job to discipline but at least be honest and real with them - right?) or see a TON of pics in the gospels of how Jesus loved people but didn't agree or encourage their actions - so if we are to follow his example then loving someone and agreeing/encouraging are not the same. correct?

I have no clue if this makes any sense - God is still teaching me. But, I love when he does that. I just hope and pray that I am being obedient and truly loving as God has called me to love